Was I good enough?

Every day I wake up asking the same question to myself “Was I good enough!?”
I stay quiet most of the time. I might have not shared my problems with others, reached out for any help but that doesn’t mean I’m all good. I’m still learning and trying to figure out what life is trying to put me in. People out there constantly trying to teach me what is good, whom should I trust, how to get success, make decisions, be responsible, which path I should take but… wait, let me stop you there. I’m getting overwhelmed. My exhausted self can’t handle it all at once. All my emotions are scattered and now it’s scaring me. The feeling of being different and insecure is something that’ll make me regret. Fear of not being loved back is pathetic. Anxiety Is worse.
I notice every single movement and get sad over the smallest things. The consequences of what I do never fails to hurt myself so I think a lot about my actions. Don’t start judging me. As far as I know, it comes with miserable pain. All I’m asking is some time to progress. It might take a while but I’ll make it out. Don’t start judging me. I might seem off and crazy but I’m still learning what is right and wrong. Don’t start judging me. I’m afraid you misunderstood. I’m not good at explaining myself. Words in my mind always don’t come exactly out of my mouth. Don’t start judging me. I still see the world with hope in my teary eyes. I’m growing just like the small seed planted under the soil. I may not glow like the other blossoming plants with colorful petals, but I still come out and shine with the blessings of the sun, kindness from the soil, and love from the wind.
In the end, I go to bed by answering myself  “yes I am and deep down only I know the reason.”

With regards,
– a teenager who is still growing and glowing

(source: pinterest)

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